hairstroke | ic inbox ✧ recolle

Well, that wasn't the only contradictory memory, though...

[ She says that before he suddenly wraps his arm around her shoulder, causing her to drop the pillow she's holding as her just goes ahead to bury her face. He can probably tell just how distressed she is by the way her body shakes in fear, the fact that tear drops fall onto the bed when just moments ago she was acting completely fine.

Even though she's crying, she somehow manages to keep her composure while speaking. ]

You don't... have to apologize, okay? It's not your fault. But I remembered something else, too.

[ And it's here where she wraps her arms around him, fingers trembling even as she's so close to him. He's the only person who can comfort her at this moment as she even recalls it. The noises of it all are loud in her ears as her breath catches. It's horrifying, but she needs to get these words out.

She promised she'd tell him.

She promised. She'll always keep her promises. ]

I knew it was coming, but... I finally remembered. [ She laughs, like broken tiles but it's also a laughter that's terrifying. It's chilling to the bone because it's not happy laughter at all, but instead manic. What keeps it from being something dangerous, however, is the choked tears that come out after she's done. ] I killed someone with these two hands. No, you can't even call it that. What I did was I tortured her.

I stabbed, over and over and over again because I enjoyed it. Because I was angry at her for being so strong when I was so weak. You see, Shion was an idiot. No... that's wrong. I'm the idiot. When the person I loved back then disappeared, I didn't trust that they would ever come back. I just simply left him for dead and forgot about him.

[ Another laugh, but this time, it's hollow. ]

Ahaha, and I guess I forgot him again, huh? That's. Ironic, I guess...

[ It's not like he wants to see her cry, but he's relieved when he sees her finally letting her emotions out. He was well aware that Mio's a good actress and it worried him that she was hiding her true feelings. The last thing that needed to happen was for her to suffer alone, he wanted to be there for her and give her comfort that she so desperately needed.

If he's the only one that can comfort her, then he's good with that. As selfish as it was, he wanted to be the one that makes her the happiest in the whole wide world.

The mention of her killing someone does cause the color to drain from his face. Not because of her actions, but because he was reminded of his own recent memory. How he wanted to execute people without a single shred of remorse. It's almost laughable how similar they could be at times. ... Even in their memories. ]

Mio, you're not an idiot. The you in this lifetime didn't do any of those things. I'm not going to condemn you for your actions because of the things I did in my past life but I will say, it's awful that you have to remember such things.

[ Her laughter is pretty unsettling and he can't deny that he was spooked out by it. As terrifying as it was, the choked sob that followed after hurt his heart more than anything. He keeps his grip on her and brings his hand to stroke the top of her head.

He frowns a little when she says that she forgot about him. It hurt him how much Satoshi mattered to her but it's not like he could do anything about it. He was a part of her memories and that's something he needs to accept. ]

Does it matter to you, Mio Sonozaki, though? It's not like you wanted to forget... about him.

[ It's honestly disheartening that she has to deal with this. She hates it so much that she has to go through this because she just simply wants to live a normal life. She wants to be a normal girl. But that's impossible now.

Mio Sonozaki can't have something like that now.

And it's only when he speaks up that she finally looks up at him, teary eyed. ]

... I-

[ She shakes her head, quiet as she wipes the tears that start at the edges of her eyes. ]

I don't know. It's not like I had any choice, though. To forget or not. But, um, did you... remember something too...?

[ He hates this too. All he wants is for Mio to live a happy, normal life. Of course her life was anything but normal since she's the Sonozaki heir, but things took a major turn for the worse after they had this god damn app installed.

This is just another reminder of how much he detests everything Retrospec stands for and how it's making the love of his life suffer like this.]

You're absolutely right, Mio. It's not your choice, so don't beat yourself up over it. [ His hand that was patting her head moves down to cup her cheek, stroking the tears away with his thumb.

Upon her question, he falls silent. ... Was she able to tell that something was bothering him? It wouldn't have surprised him. Not only is he easy to read, but Mio knew him best. ]

Yeah... I did. Don't worry about it, though. Just talk to me about what's on your mind.

[ Because he did not want to pile on her worries with his own. ]

Hey!

[ She pouts at him, narrowing her eyes as she yells out that single word, even if he's patting her head in a way that she likes, not to mention wipes the tears away. ]

The moment you say don't worry about it is going to make me worry, Leon. I want to know. It's not fair if you're just spoiling me like this and letting me be selfish.

[ And she reaches out, placing both of her hands on the side of his face, staring at him with serious eyes full of clarity. She doesn't want to be treated like she's weak and needs to be entirely coddled. ]

Please. Tell me. I want to help you, too.

[ She leans in close, enough that their foreheads touch. ]

I told you back there, didn't I? I want to support you, too. So it's okay... I can continue after I hear from you.

Mio...

[ Even though he may give her a hard time about being rude, he knew that Mio had a kind heart. Not once, did he ever think of her as being selfish, since he wanted to listen to her troubles and worries.

A light tint of pink flushes his cheek as the feeling of her soft hands touching his fast. His eyes glistened with fondess as he brings one of his hands to cup hers. It warmed his heart to hear that she was willing to support him. ]

... Thanks. I appreicate it. I just want to let you know, what I'm about to tell you isn't pleasant and it's not going to be easy to hear. You might not see me in the same light.

[ In fact, he wouldn't blame her if she didn't think of him the same way again. His eyes avert to the side, looking a little nervous. The hand that was on top of hers was slightly trembling. ]

I remembered that some guy named Zhuge Dan started a rebellion. [ Which also makes him wonder just how many rebellions were in his past life? Oh well. Hopefully he'll figure that out later. ] I think I was talking to my superior, I'm still unsure about that but apparently, some of Zhuge Dan's troops had defected to our side.

However... [ He shakes his head and turns his gaze back at Mio. As much as it bothered him, he couldn't chicken out; he had to be completely direct and honest with her. ]

My superior asked for my opinion on what to do with the defectors. Without a single trace of hesitation, I told him that we should execute every single one of them. I... even had the nerve to say that if I were in charge, I wouldn't show compassion to prisoners of war.

[ He falls silent for a few moments, wanting to let that sink in. It's something that he remembered just yesterday and hell, he's still trying to come to terms with it, even if the hints were there within the few things he recalled. ]

Mio. That combined with my supposed rebellion, it's evident I was the farthest thing from being a good person in my past life.

It's okay.

[ She knows full well that there's nothing that he can tell her that will change her mind about him and how she feels about him. That tremble in his fingertips, though... worries her. For a second, she almost thinks that it's her own but soon realizes that it's him.

So she takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and simply just listens to his voice.

He's talking about a rebellion, and then he keeps going and then. Talks about execution. And he then admits that he wasn't a good person in his past life. It's those words alone that make her want to cry for him, but she refuses; instead, she opens her eyes to look directly at him. ]

It's okay... it's okay, Leon. Thank you, for telling me. I won't judge you, okay? Our past lives are both horrible. But I still love you regardless of that. That's fine, right?

[ Despite that he has an air of confidence surrounding him, deep down in the depths of his heart, he was scared about what kind of reaction she would have about his past life.

Of course, all of his worries were immediately proven to be silly. If he wasn't so intent on wanting to be strong, he would probably cry at Mio's words. It still doesn't stop him from intertwining his fingers in between hers as he stares at her with the utmost love in his eyes. ]

... Thank you, Mio. The same goes for me.

[ He's so overwhelmed with emotion that it's so hard for him to gather his thoughts. The only thing that he could say for certain was that he loved Mio so much and nothing will change that. ]

No matter what, I promise to always love you as well.

[ He thanks her and she can't help but feel a warmth in her chest, strangely relieved that he said those words. Squeezing his hand with as much affection she can muster, she can't help the small smile that manages to settle on her lips. ]

...

[ This sure is embarrassing to say, but-- ]

Pinky promise, then?

[ At her suggestion, a soft smile curves on his lips as he extends his hand, holding out his pinky towards her.

He happily nods his head in agreement. When was the last time he did a pinky promise? He honestly couldn't even recall. Plus if he did, it was most likely when he was young and with either Xiaolang or his sisters. ]

It's a pinky promise. Together, we'll swear an oath with this.

[ And she takes her own pinky and interlocks it with her own and then says in Japanese, the usual yubikiri lines: ]

"Finger cut-off, ten thousand fist-punchings, whoever lies has to swallow thousand needles."

[ Yeah, for anybody who isn't familiar with those lines... it's kind of morbid. ]

[ Luckily for Leon, he's familiar with that saying so it doesn't catch him too off guard. But for anyone that didn't know, he could understand that it might scare people off.

He responds in Japanese, with a small smirk curving on his lips. ]

It's like we're forming our own blood oath in a way. Since it's you, I don't mind at all.

Ahaha... that's like saying you would die for me, Leon.

[ With the talk of blood oaths and things like that. ]

I don't intend on dying but if something happened to you, I would give my life to protect you.

[ This is totally not foreshadowing or anything like that. Nope. ]

You-

[ ... ] Alright. I'll trust you, then.

Good. I'm going to trust you as well.

[ Of course, there's still something lingering in his mind. He didn't want to bring it up, but they did promise to talk some more once he was done saying his piece.

So with that, he switches back to English. ]

You said you were going to continue after I was done. I've been wondering... what's the contradiction in the second memory?

[ He says that he's going to trust her and that causes something warm to settle in her chest. But when he switches to English, she immediately looks down at the floor beneath her feet. ]

So... I said that I killed someone in the first memory, right? But in the second memory, she was alive and I was the one who died. The second death though... it was a murder. I was shot.

Not to mention that my sis was alive and shot, too. Which is weird, because I remember killing sis myself, too.

[ At that, Leon widens his eyes in surprise. It was already strange to know that she died twice, but for everyone else that she mentioned that were alive? None of it made sense. This left him with so many questions and he couldn't even imagine how Mio herself must have felt. ]

That is really strange. I can't even think of a plausible explanation for those contradictions.

[ Mio's memories were already horrible but now they just got even more confusing. His heart ached for her. ]

I hate this so much for you, Mio. It's already awful to remember one death... but to remember dying again? [ He shakes his head, feeling so frustrated and useless because of this whole application. ] The only things that come to mind are alternate time lines or maybe one of those memories are a dream.

Yeah...

[ She knows that she's decisively hurting, but the fact that it's all confusing and strange makes it even worse. But she shakes her head at when he says that one of the memories being a dream. ]

Alternate timelines might be a possibility, but, neither of my deaths were a dream. I'm positive of it. The first one I remembered while I was awake, anyway. Since I was with Xiaolang and the others, and the fall we had on the ladder was what caused it, probably.

[ Since both of her deaths dealt with falling. She actually didn't mention the specifics before because she was a little concerned that Leon might blame himself for it in some ways. ]

The other death... I think it'd be pretty strange to remember the killer so distinctly. And I've never seen that woman's face before in any of my other memories, much less any of the memories I have as me.

[ At the mention of her falling, he instantly looks guilty. It instantly clicks with him as to why she fell in the first place. It's all his fault and he hates that he was the one to cause her pain. ]

I.... apologize for that, Mio. I'm sure you know but it's my fault since I got shoved by a water spirit.

[ God dammit. How could he be so careless like that? Fuck. It made him detest the water spirit even more. Still, it was his fault that he let his guard down and he should have known better than that. ]

When you say it like that, then it definitely can't be a dream. It's strange that you would remember your murderer's face so vividly. [ So it has to be real but he's so scared to actually say that out loud. ] That is strange, though. I would hate for her to pop up in your other memories but maybe she... will.

[ And here's what she expected. She can't help but wrap her arms around him tight in what seems to be a rather warm embrace, not wanting to let go. But more importantly, it's her way of reassuring him that it's fine. That even though she's not fine, he's not to blame. ]

I know. I remember. I heard that things also happened... when you guys were chasing after the traitor.

[ Because not only did she actually feel that too, she saw and heard some things as well. And they're not exactly the most fun of things that she felt, even though she's relieved that she was on stable ground that time. ]

Yeah. I knew her name, so... I think she might. It wasn't like, a random stranger shot me for no reason. But I don't know why she would kill me-- sis, and the others-- and possibly Satoshi-kun, too. [ Terrified, she hugs him even more tightly. ] Um, I didn't tell you this before actually, but, I wanted you to know something. You know how I said that I was 'Shion', right? I learned that... apparently, I wasn't born as Shion. I was born as Mion. Mion Sonozaki. But apparently one day I swapped with my sister and then on that day, everyone thought I was Shion.

My grandmother said this: "The one with the demon is Mion. The one without it is Shion." I yelled and cried, insisting to my family... to my grandmother, to my mother... that I was Mion. That maybe, my mom would be able to tell us apart. But it doesn't look like that was the case, in the end.

[ When he feels her arms wrapping around him for a warm embrace, his heart beat accelerated. Her warm touch gave him comfort, but as good as it was... he still felt bad about the whole ordeal. He knows that she's not fine and that's what hurts him. ]

... Yeah, we got caught up in traps.

[ Just from this hug, he could sense how terrified she was. He wraps his arms around her, returning the warm embrace. Likewise, he didn't want to let go and wanted to show her that he's here and he's not going to leave her side. ]

Honestly, I can't imagine what kind of reasoning a psycho like her would have. However, I hope it... becomes clear to you somehow. [ Although truth be told, if he was in her shoes he's not sure if he wants to know why he died. ] You were actually born as Mion but then the two of you got switched on accident? Why didn't your sister said anything if she was Shion?

[ He can't help but wonder about that. It wasn't fair for Shion to have her identity stolen away from her like that. There's a noticeable frown forming on his lips as he thinks about it. ]

Thank you for telling me, Mio. I can't imagine how confusing that must be for you. [ He pauses for a moment, his hand reaching over to stroke the top of her head. ] No matter who you are, Mio, Shion, or Mion... none of that matters to me. Because I love you and you alone and I want you to know that.

I see.

[ Somehow, Mio manages to keep her voice even, even if he's well aware that she isn't fine because of this whole ordeal. No matter how much she tries to pretend otherwise. Having him wrap his arms around her is a huge comfort that she couldn't ask any better from anyone else.

But she nods at both his statement, and the question that follows. ]

Yeah... We were children, back then. There was probably something that my sister got that made her 'the demon' -- somehow made her different from me. Probably something in terms of appearance, to differentiate us. I doubt that even if sis did say anything that our family would believe us. Because we swapped a lot back then. They probably would have seen it as some sort of silly prank.

[ It looks like things between the family weren't exactly he most fun of times, if she doesn't say so herself.

But when he strokes her head like that, she can't help but hum pleasantly, enjoying it all too much. ]

[ The more of this story he hears, the more frustrated he feels. With an arm still wrapped around her, his eyebrows furrow in irrtation as he lets those words sink in. Just what the hell kind of family did she have?

It's frustrating, not only for him but especially for Mio. She already had it rough with her violent memories and two deaths, but to make things even more confusing with her identity? There's no way she could be fine and he's fully aware of this. When can she finally be happy?

He would give up any future positive memories of his if it meant that Mio could finally be happy for once. ]

I'm sorry to say this, but it sounds like Shion's family wasn't the greatest. [ Yeah, he's just going to out right say it with zero filter. Sorry Sonozakis- actually no. He's not sorry in the slightest. ] It shouldn't matter who has a tattoo or whatever, you two both deserved to receive the same amount of love and care from your family.

No, I agree.

[ Her past family was pretty bad. She knew this already, but talking about it aloud like this makes it even more obvious and she absolutely hates it, without a doubt. She wants to be happy, but... she wonders if she's ever deserved that in the first place.

Maybe she should be glad that Leon can't hear those sneaky thoughts of hers for once. ]

But the same amount of love and care... I feel that if it wasn't me, it would have been sis that ended up on the short end of the stick. And to that, I can't help but be slightly grateful. As the older sister.

cw: child abuse/torture warnings + murder, it begins

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also yeah i'm gonna warn for late higurashi spoilers here

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