Leon Zhong | ᴉnɥ ƃuoɥz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hairstroke) wrote2017-11-24 12:38 am
hairstroke) wrote2017-11-24 12:38 am
ic inbox ✧ recolle
Leon Zhong
Hello, this is Leon Zhong. I'm currently away right now, so leave a message if you can.
VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION
6/18 in the late evening, because i like pain i guess and also voicemail
Leon. I don't know if you'll be able to see this whenever you come back. But I wanted to send you this message because maybe you probably want to know where I am, what happened, what I did—
[Mio laughs a little hollowly and there's a bit of a sniffle and she curses under her breath, a small 'Fuck' before she continues to speak.]
I wanted to first apologize to you. I don't know if you'll accept it and honestly, I'd be really shocked if you even did. But I know that you really care. You managed to tell me your feelings even as I was hurting you. And I didn't even realize... I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! My hands were just moving without thought and I just couldn't comprehend what I was doing after I did that. You said that you love me, that you always will— [At this point he can probably tell that she's struggling with her words, that between each breath she's struggling to put her words together and is just outright streaming in tears and having to sniffle every now and again to catch herself.] I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot... I'm selfish and I want to be by your side even now, but I did a horrible thing and I have to pay for my sins, even if the syndrome was the cause.
[There's another sniffle, but she soon manages to even out her voice.]
But don't worry. I'm fine now. I found someone that helped me.
I'm... going to turn myself in soon, for everything that I've done. You don't have to come and find me if you don't want to. [She can't force that upon him. She doesn't want to make him do something that he doesn't want. Especially since she doesn't think that she deserves it.] But just know that I love you. I love you so much, Leon, and— and— I want to see you again. I shouldn't ask for this much, but I still want to see you. I feel so empty and lost without you and it hurts being alone like this when I want to be by your side.
But I know that this is my punishment for being so selfish. Anyway, I wonder if you'll grant me another one of my selfish requests? I left something for you to find when you came back. It's something of mine that I want you to hold on to until... I've finally atoned for everything. It's in a locker at [she's just going to say the location here, it's basically a rented out one that she's set aside for the whole month] and the numbered password is my birthday. Do you remember when it is? What's inside isn't really all that special, but I've left you with my journal. It's a little embarrassing, but you can read it, if you want to.
[Since it contains all of her feelings towards him and everything that's happened to her ever since she's got the application along with rather detailed descriptions of her memories.
And if he does read it, he'll also probably find some ridiculously embarrassing poetry about her feelings towards him as well (to be actually written up at some point) too.]
Anyway, I got to go. I don't know if I'll see you again, because I really don't deserve it, but... just know that I love you. No matter what happens, I always will.
[And then, she ends the message saying a single phrase in Japanese:] Good bye.
[It's not her usual way of saying 'good bye' in Japanese, as it's sayonara, a more bittersweet and impactful way of saying it. As if she might not ever see him again in spite of her knowing that he'll come back to life. And the message ends there.]